Sometimes clients ask if they should be concerned that their kids don’t want to get a driver’s license. In American culture many kids look forward to this rite of passage and are expected to want their license as soon as possible.
I think some parents also look forward to having less driving to do or help with younger kids. (I know I do.) It seems common for parents to be concerned if their kids are not yet interested in driving. After all, the other kids are driving, right? Why isn’t my kid?
Sometimes teens feel anxiety over new or different tasks. In this day and age where society pushes grades, tests, extracurriculars, and more, teens have a lot of demands on their plates. Adding driving to the mix can seem daunting to kids.
If your teen doesn’t feel ready, it may be wise not to push just yet. There may be other demands your child is struggling to deal with and though everything may seem fine, there may be big emotions at play. Worry over disappointing you, not being as advanced as friends, or concern over getting into an accident may be part of the issue.
Time and Commitment
Think about how many hours of drive time one needs to become a good driver. Being ready for any situation takes time and practice. Teens today have many goals and activities in their daily lives. Adding driving in can be difficult to do in between school, activities, and studying. Sometimes parents can work driving time into normal daily activities, but this may not be easy depending on schedules. Some teens see time needed to learn to drive as a roadblock. They may not want to start the process unless they know things will progress quickly.
Sometimes teens just don’t care about driving. City buses, subway and above ground train options, friends, family, and other modes of transportation such as Uber have given teens and young adults more options for transportation. A few decades ago there were far less options but now there are many options, especially in cities and suburbs. Many teens see these options and decide that driving is not a necessity. They aren’t wrong. Depending on where you live, work, and go to school, you may not need a driver’s license. Plus, the costs of having a vehicle can be difficult to manage. Consider insurance, car payments, upkeep, and repairs.
While many adults prefer to drive, not all teens see this as a necessary part of life. If your child is not interested or wants to wait until later in life to learn to drive, try not to stress out. If there is anxiety in the mix, consider looking into ways to manage stress and anxiety. Overall, I encourage trusting your teen to let you know when they are ready to learn to drive.