Tag Archives: teen

My Homeschooler Won’t Listen To Me

Parents and teens often hit rough patches along their homeschool route. There is always the chance for disagreements or conflicts when making choices about education regardless of how or where your child attends school. But what do you do when your child won’t listen, complete work, or choose to improve their skill set?


Change Curriculum/Homeschool Style

Sometimes the homeschool style a parent prefers will not work for a child. Some parents are very traditional while others prefer a relaxed homeschool option. Many times, the conflicts families deal with have to do with a mismatch in homeschool or curriculum style with a student’s preferences or educational needs.

If you use online courses, try paper and book courses. If your child prefers to work outside of the house due to distractions from siblings, see if your local library has a study space. If workbooks are not working, try online options. If you are unsure of which options are best, consider looking for used or free curriculum, asking others in homeschool groups to text you a few photos of the types of lessons in a curriculum you are considering, or call the company to ask for a trial (if they offer this). You could also check your local library for curriculum options. Doing a little homework can often save you cash in the long run, especially if you try several types of curriculum before finding a good fit.

 

Have Someone Else Teach

It can be difficult to let go of the teaching portion of homeschooling. After all, the goal is to bond the family and learn together. Sometimes, though, it becomes necessary to hire a tutor, join a co-op, or utilize other local or online options. If your child refuses to complete tasks, is not making progress, and you find yourself arguing and punishing often, consider changing up who does the instruction for one of more subjects. Sometimes you or your child needs a break. Sometimes our kids prefer to learn from others. Often there are online or local options to help part or full time with this issue.

 

Ask Your Child For Input

One of the best pieces of advice is to include your child, especially teens, in the decision-making process whenever possible. Have them consider their future goals and job interests along with where they are now with skills such as math sense and reading level. This often helps motivate students t do well. If they can choose several courses, the type of materials used, and see their goals clearly, you may have less conflict over completion of school tasks.

 

Deschool/Unschool

Another great option is to either deschool, then go back to homeschooling or deschool and move into unschooling. Deschooling means you take time off from schoolwork to rest, recharge, and feel more at peace. Then, once you have deschooled for the length of time you feel works for your family or child, you move back to either homeschooling or unschooling. Unschooling is allowing child-led exploration and education instead of having adult-driven lessons. Unschooling may look like coding a website for fun, painting all day, exploring outdoors, playing at the park, reading a self-chosen book, etc. The key is that the child chooses and the adult supports if needed but does not push any particular topic or schoolwork.  The deschooling time period is a good time to make changes to curriculum or structure of your school day. You could use this option in conjunction with taking time to re-evaluate homeschooling options.

 

 

If you feel stressed out, need encouragement, or want to know what your options are, schedule a consultation with me. I am happy to put my experience to work for you.

 

Melissa Packwood, M.S. Ed. Photograph by Alexandra Islas

Melissa Packwood, M.S. Ed.
Photograph by Alexandra Islas

 

I earned my master’s degree in reading and literacy as well as an ESE graduate certificate. I hold a current teaching certificate and am working on my dissertation for my PHD in general psychology. As a consultant and reading coach, I focus on early childhood education, elementary education, moving from middle school to high school to college, reading and literacy, study skills, thematic units, and social skills. Additional services include public speaking, transcript preparation, and more. I look forward to putting my teaching experience and degrees to work for you.

Please contact me with questions or to request services.

You can also contact Melissa, The Reading Coach at 407-712-4368

 

My Teen Doesn’t Want A Driver’s License

Sometimes clients ask if they should be concerned that their kids don’t want to get a driver’s license. In American culture many kids look forward to this rite of passage and are expected to want their license as soon as possible.

I think some parents also look forward to having less driving to do or help with younger kids. (I know I do.) It seems common for parents to be concerned if their kids are not yet interested in driving. After all, the other kids are driving, right? Why isn’t my kid?

Anxiety

Sometimes teens feel anxiety over new or different tasks. In this day and age where society pushes grades, tests, extracurriculars, and more, teens have a lot of demands on their plates. Adding driving to the mix can seem daunting to kids.

If your teen doesn’t feel ready, it may be wise not to push just yet. There may be other demands your child is struggling to deal with and though everything may seem fine, there may be big emotions at play. Worry over disappointing you, not being as advanced as friends, or concern over getting into an accident may be part of the issue.

 

Time and Commitment

Think about how many hours of drive time one needs to become a good driver. Being ready for any situation takes time and practice. Teens today have many goals and activities in their daily lives. Adding driving in can be difficult to do in between school, activities, and studying. Sometimes parents can work driving time into normal daily activities, but this may not be easy depending on schedules. Some teens see time needed to learn to drive as a roadblock. They may not want to start the process unless they know things will progress quickly.

 

Unconcerned

Sometimes teens just don’t care about driving. City buses, subway and above ground train options, friends, family, and other modes of transportation such as Uber have given teens and young adults more options for transportation. A few decades ago there were far less options but now there are many options, especially in cities and suburbs. Many teens see these options and decide that driving is not a necessity. They aren’t wrong. Depending on where you live, work, and go to school, you may not need a driver’s license. Plus, the costs of having a vehicle can be difficult to manage. Consider insurance, car payments, upkeep, and repairs.

While many adults prefer to drive, not all teens see this as a necessary part of life. If your child is not interested or wants to wait until later in life to learn to drive, try not to stress out. If there is anxiety in the mix, consider looking into ways to manage stress and anxiety. Overall, I encourage trusting your teen to let you know when they are ready to learn to drive.

LitPick Book Reviewing Site

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There is a very cool website called LitPick. This site allows preteens and teens to review books as well as win books separate from the review process. Not only can your teen or preteen voice an opinion, they can also enter contests to win FREE books in paperback or ebook form! All your child has to do is sign up for an account, request a book, and then review the book. If you want a reminder when book giveaways are live, then sign up for the email list. My children have won several ebooks and even more paperback books in the past few months. They have not, yet, requested and reviewed books. This is a fabulous opportunity! Check out LitPick today.

 

A Letter To My Children – No Need To Come Out

My Dear Children,

I want you to know that coming out is not necessary in our family. We, your parents, will not assume to know who you will partner with and love. We want love, peace, and partnership for you. We do not care who brings these things as long as you have them. We do not care if your partners are transgender, intersex, male, female, or any other variation on the continuums of sex and gender. We will be happy for you if you choose marriage, common law partnership, polyamory, or anything else as long as the life you live allows you to be happy and productive. Feel free to bring your partner, partners, and friends home. Introduce them by name rather than by sexual orientation or gender. All kind souls are welcome in our home and lives.

I also want to mention that we will be happy with all of your friends who are kind and respectful toward others. We trust you to make wise choices about your life. We trust you to choose friends and partners who are positive forces in the world and in your lives.

You do not have to come out to us because we assume nothing about your sex, gender, friends, and love life. You are perfect, unique, and trustworthy. We love and support you.

Love,

Mom and Dad